Goodbye 1424

So today it became official that I will not be staying in my apartment 1424 where I have lived for almost three years - I think I honestly knew that I wouldn't be able to stay the day that SarahBeth said yes to Jeremy, but just didn't want to admit it to myself or anyone else for that matter. It has nothing to do with SarahBeth getting married, it's just that I don't know anyone that can move in and take her spot. Everyone that I know is in a lease with other people and their lease it's up anywhere close to mine, that is if they would even consider living me in the first place. The bright side of it is that I do possibly have two new roommates, but I can't live with them until July when their lease is up and my lease is up at the end of March. Yes, I am fully aware that the calendar goes March April not March July - so I realize it is not an ideal situation, but it is all I have at this point. Needless to say this has been a huge stress point in my life the past several weeks as I have tried to figure out what I am suppose to do.

Today after a day of phone calls and driving around Dallas with mom and talking to people - I still don't have a place to live for the 3 months difference in leases or a more permanent place. My mom was really quick to remind me that three years ago after a day of searching for a place to live and someone to live with I had nothing and was in this exact spot, but it worked out then and she knows it will work out now. Part of me knows she is probably right, but there is a part of me that thinks I got lucky then and my luck is probably up.

It is kind of weird that after three years I am moving again, you would think that for someone who has moved more times than I can count it wouldn't be a big deal and I would be a pro at moving or that I wouldn't even think twice about it. However, this time is different because it is a big deal. May-be it is because I realize that while I am moving I am still staying in the same life phase, while some many of my friends have moved on to a new phase. May-be it is because I don't like change and have gotten use to my life. I think those two things might be apart of it, but it is probably more because of the uncertainty of this change. I don't know where I am going, how I am going to get there, where I will end up, or who is coming along with me - and that is just a little to much uncertainty for me. Okay so I will admit it I am a little bit of a planner and control freak when it comes to my life. Part of my knows that even though I am completely clueless when it comes to how my living situation will end up - I know God has a plan for me and my living situation even if it means I get to be homeless for 3 months. I am just trying to let go of the control and trust that it will all work out in the end.

So even though I don't know where I am going, when I am going, or how I am getting there I do know that I will be leaving 1424 at the end of March. Right now the whole situation is a little more bitter than sweet, but I do know that God is good and He has it under control - even if I don't.